Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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