theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
