Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
