Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
