So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
