dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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