enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
