I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize