My pussy is not your playground.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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