Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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