Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize