I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
