You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
