'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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