I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
