is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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