Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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