If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
