Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
