What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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