I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
