butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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