I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
