dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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