This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
