so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
