How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
