So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
