Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
