YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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