guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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