I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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