So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize