And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
