All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
