Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
