How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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