yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
