i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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