my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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