You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
