When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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