Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
