problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
