I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
