I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
