I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
