i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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