oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
