When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize