i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize