I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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