One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
