loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
