just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
