Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
