On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
