Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
