I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize