I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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