Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
