his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
