I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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