Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
