thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
