was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
