that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He felt like a one man threesome
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
