The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
