stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
