i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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