Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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