I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
