He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You've changed since you got that strap on
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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