Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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