Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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