I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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